If you didn’t already know, I like to craft. A lot. I’ve been reading “Craft” magazine since around the 8th grade. And I’ve been crocheting since I was in the 3rd grade.
And I can’t lie, I kind of squeal whenever I get those 50% off coupons in the paper for Michael’s.
But honestly, crafting has a weird connotation. You know what I’m talking about. That crafters find themselves stuck between googly eyes, crocheting needles and skeins of yarn that become covered in cat hair. You know, from our 75+ cats that roam around our houses and on their cat towers.
But when it comes down to it, crafters are kind of bad@$$, nawmean?
Exhibit A: That time in high school when I made an icosohedron out of paper plates? I seriously can’t make this stuff up.
I mean, if the Beastie Boys wrote a song about crafty ladies, in all of their mystery and intrigue, then we must have some major street cred.
For me, I like painting tote bags. A lot. Especially when people pay me for them! That’s the best part. Gotta git that ca$h money somehow.
And I like collagin’
I think it might be because of the tunnel vision you get when you just have a huge tub of Modge-podge and a bunch of scraps of paper or a blank tote bag and cheap paint. All you think is the exact placement of where you’d like to put that girl who is driving a tractor with just a bra on. And delighting peeling old modge-podge off of your fingers at the end of a collage.
And how much you scream at a tote bag when you finish it, all like “YEAH, SUCK IT, TOTE BAG! I PAINTED YOU SO GOOD. WHATCHUGON’ DO NOW? OH, YEAH. THAT’S RIGHT. HOLD MY STUFF.”
Okay, so that last part is just me.
But some people get this sort of tunnel vision from running, yoga, or fishing and whatnot. I, on the other hand, get it from crafting, mostly because running makes me angry, yoga makes me giggle, and fishing at Orlando ponds basically entails finding fish that have three eyes and six fins that are the result of some toxic waste seeping into ponds.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, crafting.
It’s for those who are not faint of heart. ‘Cause crafters are pretty intense.
And if you still think crafters are old cat ladies in muu-muus who watch “Antiques Roadshow” and yell at the screen in anger over a crappy pricing of a dining room chair, you best watch out.
‘Cause we might crochet covers on yo’ crap.