Perhaps it’s just me, but I have a horrible, terrible, ridiculous habit of not making plans until 3 hours prior to anything, and if anything is planned more than 3 hours in advance I fear I will spontaneously combust.
It’s true, but I’m just that kind of classy broad.
My close friends understand this, or try to remain sane whenever we somehow make plans more than 3 hours in advance and the steam begins to stream out of my ears in preparation for the explosion.
Except I don’t stuff my mouth with cotton swabs/marshmallows/tennis balls/small children? (too far?) prior to meltdown.
It really takes a lot of willpower and convincing myself in my bathroom mirror via pep-talks to get me to keep plans that I knew I couldn’t keep. A lot. And a lot of people would chalk this up to that word, that terrible word that I hate SO MUCH. Yes.
Gag me with a spoon. It makes me cringe more than a play-date planned for next Thursday on last Monday. Besides the fact that plans make me want to flee to Siberia, I really do not consider myself a flake. I’d like to think that despite my love of color-coding on Google calendars and buying new planners and calendars each year, I’m just not hard-wired for planning, well, anything.
Plan fail: I failed at not dressing like one of those kids on “123758365 kids and Counting”. I look like a Duggar family child named “Jackenzie”.
I’m actually pretty sure that if my wedding was planned I would flee. Not because of cold feet that my new husband would somehow reveal some secret to me via “Maury”, but because of the pressure of having to inhabit a certain place with a certain amount of people for a certain amount of time. Even if I know it’s fun! You don’t even know how many times I wanted to buck out on a Quidditch club, German/French club meeting that I was leading.
It honestly boggles my mind. And just like that one part of a pedicure when the pedicurist (?!?!?!) scrubs that sensitive and ticklish part of your foot with the pumice stone, I. Just. Can’t. Handle. It.
Maybe it’s my habit of ambushing people at their houses without telling them first, that makes me expect others to ambush me(which actually happens quite a bit) , thus negating the need for plans? Maybe it’s my fear of not being all song-and-dance (and I’m a pretty song-and-dance type of broad) when the time of the plans do come that I just convince myself that those sweatpants of mine and that Season 1 30 Rock DVD look far too alluring that night for my plans.
Plan success: I failed at planning to read this book. This is one fail I consider a success.
Maybe I’m too spontaneous for plans? Perhaps. Maybe I’m just spoiled by the fact that I could literally launch myself onto my good friend’s balcony at college in order to ask her to hang out that very second if I so choose?
And even when I do make plans, it’s usually just a reason to use my dear colored Sharpie pens or post-it highlighter pens to color-coordinate things into submission…
This is a legit picture of my senior year journal. Pure madness.
And then sigh to myself and say, “Man, that’s a really nice looking planner/post-it/Google calendar page. Hah, it’s too bad I’ll never bake those muffins…Maybe I should throw rocks at my BFF’s window and scream his name until he agrees to go on a bike escapade with me?”
Plan success: My best guy friend’s cat died in my senior year of high school, so I offered to make him his favorite casserole to help him mourn. Within a couple hours (less than three, mind you), I had successfully biked over to his house with a sweet potato “catsserole” with marshmallows in the shape of a cat. I can’t make this stuff up.
Because that’s just how my mind works.
Currently, these are the following things I’m “planning” <——teeheeheehee!
1.Looking into transfer schools for Spring.
2.Visit schools in Boston and New Yaawwwk (partially to visit schools, partially to go to Vampire Weekend concert and then throw various pieces of my undergarments at them. With my number on them)
3. Try to get a job lined up for a fall that won’t make me feel like death, i.e. no waitressing jobs.(today I tried to find Au pair jobs! Tomorrow, I will probably try to find either ditch-digger, lamp-lighter, or telemarketer jobs. Who knows?).
I was moderately successful with selling mysoulself on this Au pair-matching website and actually got some responses back from families in Jersey, Turkey, Italy, and Poland!! Who knows where I will go?! Once again, who knows?!
4.Finish compiling essays for my book I’m hoping to have self-published by the end of this summer. Yay, for planning for pursuits of vanity!
Now the real question is, do you plan things? Or are you an alien-cyborg like me? Let a sister know!