to all the things i do not have;

 

(image via. Aint it a beaut?)

Dear $600… that is holding me back from going back to school.  I would very much like you to materialize out of thin air like magic. As it would help me leaps and bounds, by alleviating my stress (and thus my stress-eating of Oreos), and allowing me to take some college classes this coming semester. But since summoning money from nowhere is against Gamp’s Law in the Harry Potter books, I guess I will have to go about attaining you the old fashioned way.  And anyways, perhaps your absence and my increase in free time is God’s little way of saying  “Go on another adventure, Mackenzie. By yourself again. And without plans. Do it.”

Dear four Great Pyrenees Puppies… you’d be very nice to snuggle up with as I start watching Glee from the beginning on one of my days off this week. But then again, you would eat all of my shoes. And leave me all kinds of little presents on my yoga mat. And I just don’t really think that would jive with me very well. But one day you will be all mine. And I will name you “Swayze”, “Keanu”, “Springsteen”, and “Gatsby”, respectively. And we will snuggle.

Oh MAN, will we snuggle.

Dear Future gentleman caller of my dreams… I don’t think it would be good to meet under rushed circumstances. Although, I cannot lie and say that I didn’t wish you would promptly plop yourself on my doorstep, flowers in hand (my favorites are tulips, just so you know), and offer me a lunch date at Chipotle (my heart can be won with mountains of guacamole). But that would not be right. Not at all. Because I’m supposed to meet you in due time. Just not right now. I have some kinks to work out, many places to go, and lots of things to experience. And I’d kinda like you to meet me when my hair is longer and I’m not living with my mom, and I’m more of an adult and all that good stuff. That way, I have lots of interesting things to tell you when we go to Chipotle (But if you could come before the last Harry Potter movie comes out, it’d make my life. …As it’s been my nerdy dream to have my first kiss occur at a Harry Potter movie premiere….And uhm, I only have one more).

But, like, no pressure of course.

And also this gives you more time to memorize passages from “Harry Potter” to quote to me.

But really, no pressure.

Dear that “Lizzie Mcguire Movie” moment of my life…You know which one I’m talking about. That one moment in your life where “This Is What Dreams are Made Of” blasts in the background and you feel like you just got chosen to sing alongside an Italian pop-star? And all your dreams are coming true? And you could totally throw your beret up in the air in pure, unadulterated glee? Well, I feel like I’m close to it. So close, I can almost smell it. It smells a lot like Ethan Craft and bubblegum-scented perfume.

Dear cutesy apartment in a faraway metropolis…away from any theme parks. I can’t wait for you. But I cannot lie, you sort of freak me out. Sure, you seem like guaranteed adulthood contained in four walls, but you also mean money for rent and electricity. More bills. Leaky sinks. Having to make sure all my doors are locked so no one steals my laptop filled with pictures of Darren Criss on it.  Windows that won’t shut all the way and let cold drafts in. Noisy neighbors doing nasty things. Despite all of this, I still dream of you fondly.  And you know I’m going to decorate you so good. Knick-knacks everywhere. Classical music blasting at all times like my grandmother would hope I would do.  Themed dinner parties galore. And the more-than-occasional costume party will be thrown inside of you. And you’ll smell like cookies and flowers and classic Febreeze at all times. I’ll see you soon. Don’t you worry.

 

xoxo M.

 

currently listening to ‘your ex lover is dead’// stars

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