all stuffed up;


my nose is clogged up. when i go outside my eyes begin to water. i finally uncovered my spring clothes to find that they barely fit me in any flattering way. it’s ten days until i go to boston to apartment search. and i don’t know where to begin to make any of these issues a little less overwhelming.

i’m a firm believer in letting yourself feel angry or sad or overwhelmed if that is truly how you are feeling. i don’t think it’s healthy in anyway to suppress feelings. but i also don’t believe in negative emotions lasting for more than 3 minutes. and anyways, puppy kisses and tea usually heal all wounds.

but what do you do when it lingers? it’s been at least 4 years since i’ve felt this lingering sense of angst. i just turned twenty?! didn’t i leave my teenage angst with my old bright eyes cds, old journals, and livejournal account?!?!

in short , i feel all stuffed up. i’m probably a full 1o lbs more than i’ve ever been in my life. my nose can be used for a musical instrument due to allergies.  i’m about to make a huge move away from my dog. thinking about trying to detox makes me miss frozen yogurt.  and i have this urge to ask for someone to hold my hand when i apartment search in a week and a half.

i usually hate documenting negative feelings on blogs, but you guys are such lovely human beings and i always adore hearing what you have to say: what do you guys usually do when you find yourself in a situation like this? recommend any good detoxes (i’d like to still eat grains. i’m not crazy, ya know)?  any good quotes, nuggets of advice , songs to have a dance party to?  all i have right now is that  i’m debating the purchase of a webcam for my mom so i can skype my dog over the summer (this is seriously bringing me comfort).

alright, this post has taken me longer than three minutes to write, thus more than three minutes of wallowing.  i think it’s  time to hang out with my dog and make some tea. don’t you agree?



5 thoughts on “all stuffed up;

  1. So, I just had to find your blog after reading your comment about Rory over at better than bland. I seriously wish I could be bffs with rory. but alas I am sorry youre not feeling so hot. I would go with the dog and tea idea:)

  2. Okay, my love. Firstly, I can’t even tell you how much I adore your Harry Potter comment. Everything about it…ahhh my heart! I was an extra in the 6th movie, but really I’m all about the books. I’m a sucker for anything magical though and I think real magic rarely comes from movies and is almost always perpetuated by your own imagination. Anyways, Potter = love.

    Secondly, I’m sorry your life is feeling stuffed up! Go overdose on tea and puppy kisses first {because you know…like, what’s better?!} and then remember your own wise words! There’s nothing wrong with emotion! And angst is something that comes paired with stress and excitement and change, and you’ve got bucketloads of that coming your way.

    Remember: A.) you’re absolutely gorgeous, so don’t worry about that {but man oh man, do those nagging, silly self esteem issues always tag along with other stress or WHAT? like, seriously! get lost!} B.) this change will be good in so many ways. and pre-change, it’s hard to see it, but post-change you’ll be all “ohhhh riiiiight this is why I moved to boston. totally worth it” C.) detoxes are usually lame and scary. I’m in the process of removing dairy and gluten. Harder than i thought. The only advice I have so far is…COCONUT IS A WONDER-FOOD!! D.) dog-skype is totally the way forward. my dogs are moving to england this summer, sooo I’ll be suffering furry-friend-withdrawal too 😦

    Okay this is turning into an essay but remember YOU ARE LOVED and I will virtually hold your hand through apartment hunting. Take some time for yourself to do something fun and feel-good and just don’t think about any of this for an hour or two. It’ll all make more sense after, promise! xoxo

  3. Firstly, hang in there! I hate those days or weeks or months, but they do pass, and then you’ll be able to see the bright side of things again. As Mister Rogers regular sang, “It’s such a good feeling to be alive.” Also by him, “You are my friend, you are special. You are my friend, you’re special to me.”

    As far of detoxes go, I would recommend at least limiting the dairy, eating more whole grains, cutting out refined sugar as much as possible and eating tons of raw fruits and veggies. The last two are probably most important, unless you actually have sensitivities to dairy and/or grains.

    Thirdly, change is terrifying. Doing new things on your own is terrifying. But it’s also exhilarating and you have so many incredible moments ahead of you. Hold on to that. Treasure the past and those memories but keep creating new ones.

    And one more quote: “”A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.” ~Madeleine L’Engle
    Whenever I’m feeling crappy, I take refuge in some of my favourite YA novels. They’re the best. If you want something new, try The Blue Sword or The Beekeeper’s Apprentice. For something old, re-read The Little Prince.

    Your blog is beautiful and so are you. Hugs.

  4. Mackenzie!
    this alone could make anyone feel better…

    when you’re done oogling at that beauty that is darren criss, i think you should most definitely do something for YOU – whether its reading a funny or cheesy YA novel (currently reading Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and it’s my current guilty pleasure- it’s also available for like $6 on kindle so WOO!) or watching your favorite movies or just writing down your feelings on a big (placemant-sized, if you have it) sheet of paper. Just jot down the words and phrases that you’re feeling – it doesn’t have to make any sense but once you get those words and feelings down on paper and you are able to see them in front of you, then you can fully comprehend and process them and then slowly learn to accept or deal with them! It sounds weird but it works for me and I hope it works for you 🙂
    and now go look at that beautiful picture again cause AWWWWW YEAHHH

    xo Hayley

    ps- there’s another Hayley on here and I got totally confused! But yay! More Hayleys out there spelled the right (and BEST) way. heh heh 😛

  5. Oh, baby! I just want to make you pots and pots of tea in my extra-special elephant teapot. No puppy kisses here, but plenty of creepy kitty nibbles. Joia can attest to that. She’s right about Mr. Rogers and The Little Prince, and Emily’s right about coconut. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR FREAKING LIFE.

    Not that it sounds like your life needs any more change. Science has shown us that we are at our least stable physically and emotionally during times of transition. So, don’t worry.The human race is right there with you. Wallow if you must, but don’t let it undermine your hope, your potential, and your willingness to face the challenges that come with opportunity.

    Love and encouragement.R

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