i carry a home;

i carry a home inside of me. it may not be very large. or filled with ornate furnishings. or play classical music over the sound system. but it is filled with vampire weekend’s “contra”, the soundtrack to all of my travels both permanent and temporary.

each off beat rumble of the drum of that album reminds me of chicago, of late night gallivanting around lincoln park and inside beautiful libraries. of san francisco and being ambushed by bernese mountain dogs at crissy fields.  each obscure little reference in the songs brought me back to boston and being so invigorated by the academia and the fiery leaves and the young boys carrying their cellos and large bass cases up and down boylston street.

and even orlando, though i hate to admit it, was a home for such a long time. the reggaeton streaming in the background. and humid, swampy air that greeted me every time i headed home. fanny pack-clad tourists that i both mocked and secretly felt that if they didn’t exist, the world would be thrown off its axis, they were necessary in a sense. though i could do without seeing the sunburnt, distended bellies of some of the male variety.

each of these places have never felt like home organically or instantly. but they did, because i carry that home inside me. whether it was a week, ten days, or my whole life as of a month ago,  like my seven year old self ,with a glass mason jar full of lightning bugs, i carry that sort of light and familiarity around wherever i go. oh yes, my home is filled with lightning bugs. more than you could even imagine. lightning bugs and lyrics and drum beats and light.

“i see you shine in your way. go on, go on, go on.”

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5 thoughts on “i carry a home;

  1. oh, this is beautiful. i love that you are able to link one specific song to so many different times in your life. i have that as well, but different songs remind me of different places. what a wonderful rush of memories for you that song must be. vampire weekend tend to sing the anthems of my life. 🙂

  2. Girlllllll… your words are crack. Straight crack. And normally I wouldn’t lace your words to that of drug references but we are totally on that level with one another and I am quite addicted.

  3. Whoever said your words are crack…amen. You’re brilliant. I loved this so insanely much. I know how it feels, I have made so many homes HOME because of what I’m bringing with me. Okay that didn’t make as much sense as I imagined in my head, but I think you probably know what I mean. xo

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