i knew it was coming. i knew it was an inevitability.
i hate to be a part of that class of people who thinks that when things are too good for such a long stretch that something bad just has to happen.
i’d very much prefer to think that there are hidden pots of fairy dust underneath your cobblestones. that covered my shoes and guided me to all of the niceties i have since encountered.
i knew my supply was running low on saturday. running late to work. my purse broke. a banana for a late snack exploded all over the contents of said purse. attempting to drink my feelings by way of a tea latte at my favorite tea shop ended in me tripping across massachusetts avenue, scraping my knee, spilling tea all over myself, and looking like a flustered young lady who had missed out on the grace gene.
then, there was a chance for some sort of redemption once i got off work. slightly burnt pizza slices with someone i was really quite taking a liking to. the night seemed to be lightening up under fluorescent lights of a harvard square pizzeria. or so i thought. i was perfectly fine with just nursing a burnt hand back to health, but a confused heart is another story.
boston, i just want you to know something. loud and clear. i am even going to enunciate this to you so that you understand my point without question. i’m not one of those girls who doesn’t know what she deserves. who doesn’t know her value. who doesn’t know that she deserves to be walked home when it gets too late. or told early on in the night that it just wasn’t going to work instead of being rudely woken up by the news.
i put so much effort into doing the dishes, you can’t even imagine how much work and effort i put into the other avenues of my life.
i deserve a say. i deserve the chance to yell for what i want. i deserve to be fought for. i deserve opened doors and walks back to the subway and a fluttering heart on my way back home. i deserve to have the city roll out rich, ornate rugs out in front of me.
yes. yes, i do.
i forgive you for now, boston. but i will let you know one last thing: i am going to sit here patiently waiting for all these things, my hands wide open to collect all those things i deserve.