{feed the mackenzies} hotter-than-a-witch’s-teat tomato soup;

in a way, cooking makes me feel like a mad scientist.
or a witch. yeah, i like witch better.

you sit around your cauldron of deliciousness, stirring a bunch of random ingredients together in an attempt to make a potion to woo josh groban into your clutches* make some food so you won’t get scurvy from only eating pb & js.

thus, some magic happened in the kitchen the other night, guys. oh, did it.

so i give you a recipe i’m not sure what to call, but i have narrowed it down to the following:

“i would marry myself if i could” soup.


“hotter-than-a-witch’s-teat” tomato soup


3 whole tomatoes, chopped.
3 small onions, minced.
3 medium carrots, chopped.
3 boullion cubes, dissolved in 3 cups water (or 3 cups vegetable broth)
2 medium potatoes, or a handful of those cute baby potatoes, chopped. (that i buy purely because they make me feel like i am eating doll food.)
1 tbsp. dried thyme
1 tbsp. rosemary
1 tbsp. herbs de provence
salt, to taste.
1 tbsp. red chili flakes
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/4- 1/2 cup unsweetened plain soy/almond milk

1. for broth, combine broth, and all the herbs together and allow them to get all happy and tasty together.
2. in a fry pan, fry the minced onions in a good amount of canola/olive oil with a little salt on a low heat until they turn translucent.
3. as broth is getting happy and onions are doing their thang, add potatoes and carrots to the broth to soften them.
4.once onions are translucent, add the tomatoes until they cook down, approximately 5-8 minutes. add chili flakes once the tomatoes are cooked.
5. combine the onion/tomato mixture to the broth and allow everything to boil together for about 5-10 minutes. make sure the potatoes don’t overboil because they can get gummy when you put them in a blended later.
6. in increments, ladle the soup mixture into a blender with the nutritional yeast and soy milk, and puree until smooth. continue with another batch until everything has been pureed.
7. debate whether or not you want to marry yourself now, or after you eat all 5 servings of this deliciousness (3 servings if you are me).

now, if you will just excuse me, i have a pre-nup to sign….with myself.

* true story! josh groban/ j-grobz was totally spotted at my school’s cafe last week. my friend had to stop me from outing him, which i am glad she did because if anyone else noticed him besides us, at a school where 85% of the people are theatre nerds who make “west side story” references on the daily, there would have been a mob. or i would have gotten a restraining order or yelled “HAVE MY BABIES” at him. either of these possibilities would be bad, very bad.


One thought on “{feed the mackenzies} hotter-than-a-witch’s-teat tomato soup;

  1. holy wow. i love your life & your witchy creations & JOSH GROBAN WAS AT YOUR SCHOOL! okay, the rest was small talk. i am so ENVIOUS! i’ve been in love with him since he was 18!

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