feel the wanderlust demons cower into a corner with the all-too-swift purchase of a commuter rail ticket to providence. be greeted by the city hall building. resolve to move to providence immediately because its cuteness is overwhelming you after 20 minutes. almost get run over by a platoon of cute penny-farthing boys in a park. become tempted to get run over by one of them so they will take you out to a cute cafe. regret not going through with said plan.
try to stop yourself from writhing over the cuteness for the next two hours. you can’t do that in public, after all. remember that no one in the city knows you, so you begin writhing again.
stumble upon the best little nugget of providence, the providence athenaeum library. hold back the tears. you’re a big girl now, mackenzie. but lose it upon seeing a first edition of “anatole”. it is the most adorable children’s book about a cheese-testing mouse, after all.
pretend you’re visiting your overly studious, gangly-armed, bespectacled with dark featured (i mean, what?) most-definitely-not-fake boyfriend at brown university. that was the point of the visit, right? he needed some comic relief on one of his many study breaks. realize you’ve been walking for over six hours at this point, are in desperate need of a cupcake, and should probably get a real boyfriend. providence, will u be mine (circle yes or no)?