sun your limbs for the first time in months. realize the thought “wait, i have ankles?” run across your mind as you take off your knee socks. appreciate californian trash cans because , unlike their massachusetts counterparts, they aren’t filled with broken umbrellas and melted snow. get a sunburn whilst wearing a sweater, because that’s just a classic mackenzie thing to do, of course.
prance around the grove in your most stylish socks. you have to impress dane cook at the laugh factory, after all. it’s hard to appear impressive when you’re the only ginger you’ve seen in four days and your face doesn’t have an ounce of collagen pumped into it, so the fox socks will have to get the job done. and thank god for fox socks, because they came along with me to paleyfest to see the cast of parks and rec, as well as to the set of the soup. try not to throw your bra (who am i kidding? sports bra) at joel mchale in between school-girl-like giggles. pat yourself on the back for not rushing the stage to kidnap (man-nap?) chris pratt.
go to diddy riese and experience the best use of lactaid pills on the face of this earth. get your birthday face on. witness the best #floridianswag you’ve ever seen, a pre-pubescent orlando magic fan decked out in magic-swag. realize that if you were sorority girl that these would be your signature biddy poses.
after rolling down ucla hills with one of your soul-sisters, prancing around campus, and eating cooke sandwiches, take a nap to prepare yourself for salsa dancing glory. become birthday bffs with a salsa teacher at ucla who shares your birthday, jamesie. cut the cake in between dances and begin to realize that this trip is basically about getting diabetes on an express schedule.
go to two more cupcake shops and begin to wonder if you can feel your limbs anymore. wonder if it’s possible to get diabetes after only five days of an intense eating spree. think to yourself “man, my blood hurts”. go to see your #8 library on your list of “libraries to see before you keel over” list, richard riordan library (l.a.public library). cover up your limbs once more, fox socks in tow, and resolve to get borderline diabetic with l.a. again sometime soon.