greatest hits of renaissance drama;

{caption for this photo:” wait, did i write cymbeline?!?”}

i had the odd pleasure of taking a renaissance drama class this semester. not only was this class ridiculous (which is natural when your professor has four masters degrees and went to yale after she got bored at stanford, seriously) and intense, but it also brought a lot of amazing texts to my reading repertoire. texts so hilarious that i spent a lot of time cracking up at the language.  these are texts that i will now take out of context for your reading pleasure.

gems from the play ’tis pity she’s a whore:

1.”most dainty and honey-sweet mistress, i could call you fair, and lie as fast as any that loves you; but my uncle being the elder man, i leave it to him, as more fit for his age, and the colour of his beard. i am wise enough to tell you i can bourd where i see occasion; or if you like my uncle’s wit better than mine, you shall marry me; if you like mine better than his, i will marry you, in spite of your teeth. so commending my best parts to you, i rest yours, upwards and downwards, or you may choose.” -bergetto, in a love letter.

2.”bergetto: and i will have her, that’s more : did’st see the codpiece-point    she gave me, and the box of marmalade ?”
poggio: very well; and kiss’d you, that my chops water’d at the sight on’t: there is no way but to clap up a marriage in  hugger-mugger.
philotis: what ails my love ?
bergetto:  i am sure i cannot piss forward and backward, and yet i am wet before and behind; lights! lights! ho, lights!”

3. “ismena: your lover, i think be a fair fool, for you love nothing but fruit and puppets”, sappho and phao.

4.  “mam: ’tis no idle fear.
we’ll therefore go withal, my girl, and live
in a free state, where we will eat our mullets,
soused in high-country wines, sup pheasants’ eggs,
and have our cockles boil’d in silver shells;
our shrimps to swim again, as when they liv’d,
in a rare butter made of dolphins’ milk..”the alchemist. 
5. “hammon: cousin, on my life, for our lost venison i shall find a wife.”
…and now for my personal favorite…
6. “all: the pancake bell rings, the pancake bell. tri-lill, my hearts!” – the shoemaker’s holiday.
oh, the beauty of being a lit major.

One thought on “greatest hits of renaissance drama;

  1. These posts make me wish I had majored in something that let me read all.the.time. Love it! Keep sharing, and I will live vicariously through you. =)

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